Friday, July 30, 2010

Weeeee Want to Thank Youuuuu!

Happy Friday, everyone! I am super stoked for this weekend, despite having to wake up super early tomorrow morning. Why, you ask? Well, good thing I wanted to fill you in.

I'm hitting up Redskins training camp tomorrow. I really couldn't be more excited to see the new regime in action, along with the new players that will (hopefully and certainly) lead us to some respectability and wins this coming (and future) season(s). To commemorate this, I have included one of the most iconic music videos I know. I'll admit that I'm a huge homer for my home teams, especially the 'Skins. However, I don't see how anyone could not have a good time with these 80's raps that teams used to do back in the day. I hope you enjoy this as much as I do.

Go 'Skins!

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Ron Artest interviews Ron Artest

Ha...Ron Artist is legitimately crazy.  It has been confirmed with this video.

Hot Women That Could Beat Me Up

Having attended a small liberal arts college in western, PA, I was exposed to a variety of topics that I would not otherwise have been made aware of. One of these such topics (as an English/Soc. major) was gender and women's studies. Plus, as an early twenty-something in college, this allowed me to accomplish my goal of having classes with as many females as possible. Were a lot of them closeted or militant lesbians? Sure, but I was playing the numbers game at the time and, in the end, I came away with a seasoned knowledge of Lilith Fair, The Vagina Monologues, and Hillary Clinton.

While I was supposed to be learning about women's liberation and the rise and onset of feminism, I (as I'm sure all of the other handfull of guys in my classes) couldn't help myself from constantly checking out the old famous pictures of babes that accompanied the literary journal articles, historical documents, and totally awesome feminist literature. I mean, have you seen Margaret Thatcher, Virginia Woolf, or Marie Juchacz? If not, welp...you're missing out! However, one of the common themes that I noticed was...well, the majority of them could probably kick my ass.

Now that I've grown older and come to appreciate the feminist movement and all of the hardships associated with it, my idealologies have shifted. Much as a caterpillar transforms into a beautiful butterfly via metamorphosis, I too have had a transformation. No longer do I yearn for the the literary beauties of my youth. Rather, my attention has shifted to the athletic domain. However, pretty much all of these women could still beat the shit out of me.

No list like this would be complete without starting off with Serena Williams. I personally think that Serena is hot and one helluva tennis player. Well...wait. For the most part, I think Serena is hot. She looks great in an evening dress or a bikini, but when she's on the court, she flat out frightens me. On-court Serena is what I imagine hides in my closet at night and waits for me to go to sleep. Don't believe me? Well, watch the below video and tell me that this tiny little line judge didn't have a flashback to the first time she saw The Exorcist. She was about to jump into the stands once Serena started coming after her. And you know what...I don't blame her.




Click here for the entire ordeal. It was a little too long and you didn't get to see her total outburst. High comedy.

In terms of the Olympics, the summer games are the Kim Kardashian to the winter games' Khloe. There's a reason they were chanting "Ug-ly Sis-ter" in Boston during the NBA Finals at Lamar Odom. However, I digress. The summer games grant us beach volleyball, swimming, softball, and the hot babes of fencing. Yet, even with all of those sports, one cannot forget the important contributions of female gymnastics. Fittingly, during the Olympic games in Beijing, women's gymnastics belonged to Shawn Johnson (who is cute, but not hot unless you have a thing for Danny DeVito-types) and Alicia Sacramone. She did fairly well during the Olympics, but...well, honestly I don't remember. It was a long time ago and unless you're a gymnastics enthusiast, who really cares? In any case, Alicia is 5'1, can do a bunch of tricks on beams and rings, and pretty hot. Why does she make the list do you ask? Well, ask this guy.



Yikes! Good luck if you ever get into a fight with your girlfriend, Brady Quinn.

The next lucky female to make my list is Gina "Conviction" Carano and her job is to actually kick opponents' collective asses. I don't know much about MMA b/c I don't like to drink Budweiser for breakfast, watch NASCAR, or have sex with my siblings and pets, but I do know that it involves a level of toughness that I will never reach in my lifetime. I really can't find any reason to make fun of Ms. Carano as her sport is about killing people. She was an American Gladiator after all. But, she's hot and could absolutely, unequivocally destroy me. I would never say anything bad about her, especially on the off chance that she reads this. Team Conviction!

I could only imagine what would happen if you were dating her and forgot to take out the trash.

There you have it. My first official "Hot Women That Could Beat Me Up" list. I was going to include some WNBA players, but c'mon...I said 'hot' women. Hopefully you laughed at this. But if you didn't, at least realize that I was joking and wrote this tongue-in-cheek before you send me a picture of you burning your bra in protest. Take a deep breath...you'll need it because dinner isn't going to put itself on the table.

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Nerdom + Rubick's Cube + LEGO Robot

equals awesome.

This video is just fun to watch.

Tempus II

Who doesn't like to watch everyday objects explode in slow-motion?

Exactly! Here you go.

Tempus II from Philip Heron on Vimeo.

Friday, July 23, 2010

Kidnapping? Oh, nose!

Music: i wish i could fly

Happy Friday, everyone! All two or three of you that read this!

You can credit this find to LeBron James. I was searching for that ridiculous WWF-style wrestling entrance that they had at the Heat arena for the Miami Thrice or whatthefuckever they are calling them these days and I was typing in "M-I-A-M-I-H..." when "Miami Horror" came up in the autoque. My interest was piqued. I checked out their music and I like them. They sound like a more disco-y The Killers to me and that is a good thing. This video rocks and if you like them, look for another one they have called Sometimes. In that Blue Lagoon-ish video, there are a young guy and a girl running around an island and he may or may not want to rape her. Check it out!

In any case, here is Moon Theory.



Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Tom Brady is a lucky guy

He may have totally gone Hollywood with his Justin Bieber haircut. But...let us not forget:

Monday, July 19, 2010

JaVale McGee Highlights

Sure, it's only the summer league, but this is the most boring time during the year to be a fan of sports. JaVale McGee is an athletic third-year player (actually the only NBA player who's mother was in the *yawn* WNBA) that should factor into the future plans for the Wiz. An athletic 7 footer that can run the floor? To pair with super fast in transition PG John Wall? Well, ok...you talked me into it.

Here are McGee's highlights:

Friday, July 16, 2010

Dude Perfect: The Donut Shot

she kissed my lips and quickly ran away

I love finding out about new music and new bands. I realize that I'm late to the Pandora party, but having begun using it fairly on the regular, it has shown me some new bands that I otherwise would never have heard. One of such bands is The Weeks.

Hailing from Jackson, Mississippi (one of the first words I ever learned to spell), The Weeks sound very similiar to early Kings of Leon. I mean that in the best way. So far, I haven't heard any tracks resembling Use Somebody, which I place in the wretched pantheon of songs that I absolutely loathe from a band that I love. The Weeks craftfully blend southern rock with alternative tunes that absolutely get trapped inside your head. But, I'm not complaining that their song "Buttons" keeps rattling around up there.

Have a listen.

Fat Sonic

This is a cool hack for a favorite video game from my youth. If you didn't love Sonic the Hedgehog then you are dead to me. Dead. I loved Sonic. I would wake up in the AM to watch his cartoon show and always loved spending hours working my way through his various games. Sonic was the man. However, it seems that the extra pounds we all gain as we get older have caught up to Sonic as well.



The hack itself is cool as it completely alters the gameplay. No longer are you trying to hoard rings, but the goal now is to stay away from them lest you desire to grow obese. I'm sure there is some meaning behind accumulating wealth, greed, and the fat getting fatter. But, I don't care. Cash Rules Everything Around Me, C.R.E.A.M. dolla dolla bill y'all.

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Orphaned Sloths Live the Easy Life

Another cool link from Todd. This...this is the life that I want to live!

Meet the sloths from Amphibian Avenger on Vimeo.



The world's only sloth orphanage, located in Costa Rica, seems more like five star hotel than a zoo. As if these adorable creatures weren't lazy enough, all they do is hang around all day smiling and munching on veggies.

This is much what I imagine a nursing home will be like.

Jumpin' Jeff Farmer & Macho Man on Coke!

Is that Zach Galifianakas?



Via Todd:

Sean Taylor: How This Ends...

I am more than ready for football season to begin. I'm ready for the cooler crisp weather, the excuse to drink beer with your friends on Sunday afternoons, always being able to talk shit to other teams, the annual optimism and hope, favorite players, any excuse to wear a football jersey...I could go on and on. However, right around the time that training camp starts (t-minus 2 weeks), there is a melancholy reminder that one of, if not THE, greatest player I have ever seen is no longer with us.

Sean Taylor died at the age of 27 in 2007 as a result of a gunshot wound he suffered while intruders broke into his home. Sean died protecting his family with a machete, chasing after the intruders while one of them shot back blindly at him. I take solace in the fact that he died in the manner that he played: as a warrior.

I won't get into this too much, at least right now, but it is a strange feeling deeply missing a stranger. However, especially after watching the ESPY's last night and finding myself crying at certain parts, it is easy to see the impact that sports have on our lives. I deeply miss watching Sean Taylor play football. I also truly believe that we were lucky to have been able to watch one of the greatest players ever play the game we love. There is no doubt in my mind that Sean Taylor would have been the greatest safety to ever play the game of football. No one can ever convince me otherwise.

Here is the best tribute video that I have ever seen about Sean. I can't wait until that opening kickoff.



(Interesting to see at 4:40. Sean sacks Donovan McNabb in college).

R.I.P.

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

how about some Fail?

There are tons of places that you can find people, animals, objects failing on the web. While I'm not trying to put up the same old shit as you can find in any number of other places, there are times where something is way too funny not to share.

These kids roll hard.




And then there are times, when you can still salvage a situation.



But then again...you can't salvage everything

EMBED-Worst Shopping Run Ever - Watch more free videos

Monday, July 12, 2010

Saved By The Bell DJ

I can't stop laughing at this guy

Friday, July 9, 2010

Best Way to Quit Your Job

Balls...

LeBron and The World's Reaction

I'm sure everyone is very aware of the LeBronathon that has been going on all summer, which culminated in a ridiculous television special last night. Seriously, LeBron could have made a quiet announcement along the lines of Kevin Durant's extension. But, the man chose not to, and I can't entirely blame him. I personally don't know anyone that wasn't watching or anticipating where he was going to sign. My only problem with it was LeBron basically stabbed Cleveland in the back on national television. However, it was his choice. I don't think Dan Gilbert (Cavs' owner) is correct at all in writing an open letter to the fans. It's not that the act of writing a letter is a bad idea, but I don't think you should write a break-up letter in venom and pass it along to the world immediately after the fact. Sleep on it for a night, dude.

LeBron's decision really only impacts me as a basketball fan. I lived in Miami and it's a huge bandwagon city. I'm sure they are still partying over this decision, whenever it is that you're reading this. I have had thoughts about moving back and I would love to watch all three of these guys play. But, for me, it's truly only about entertainment and basketball. I understand that, in Cleveland, LeBron was more than just a player. He was a homegrown, local kid that everyone pinned (dumped) their hopes and dreams on at an early age. Maybe that's the problem here. In all fairness, LeBron didn't owe Cleveland anything. Sure they supported him, but he's a twenty-five year-old man that wants to win and appears to not harbor the focus or determination to do it himself, a la Michael Jordan or Kobe Bryant. And you know what? That's fine. LeBron still wants to win, but realizes that he needs help. He wants to go play with his friends. He's taking less money to do so. Charles Barkley stated that if he were twenty-five, he would go and do it himself. Really, Charles? That's why you don't have any rings. Cleveland missed the boat here. They should have surrounded him with better talent all along, instead of solely relying on LeBron to carry the load. He will have less on his shoulders in Miami, since that is Wade County, and maybe that's exactly what the man wants. I only fault him for leaving Cleveland, without a direct warning (people should have known - he rented out villas as the W Hotel for shit's sake to celebrate), but he could have at least gave fair warning and thanked them. However, that's not good television, and in this era, everything is about entertainment. In the end...he's a basketball player, not the savior of an entire economically depressed city. LeBron has done a ton of charitable work for the city, but he chose to move on. Cleveland should be grateful instead of being greedy. Plus...it's Cleveland, you're used to losing...everything.

The World's Reaction to LeBron's decision:

Super Mario Bros Crossover: Leftovers

I guess since I didn't update the blog all week, I'm feeling like I forgot to do something, hence all of the updates today. However, I wasn't expecting them to primarily deal with video games. Man...I really am still twelve years old.

Referring back to my prior post about Super Mario Brothers Crossover, here is a funny video about the characters that just couldn't make the cut.

Rome: youcanhavewhateveryoulike


What's up, everyone? Happy Friday. You know what that means? Yup, new music.

I chose an older video by Rome for this go-round's music. It's a cover of "Whatever You Like" by T.I., which is a great song on its own. I like the toned down, beachy feel of this version. Plus, Sublime With Rome is coming to Baltimore for a sick show with Matisyahu and Dirty Heads on July 18. Can't wait.

And, as the Miami Heat just told LeBron James:


Super Easy Mode

Hilarious video. What if video games had super easy mode?

Friday, July 2, 2010

Bang, Bang, Bang, Bang! Vamonos! Vamonos!

Happy Friday, everyone! Man, has it been a longer than anticipated work week or what? I don't know about you, but pretty much from Tuesday on felt like it should have been Friday. In any case, on the eve of a momentous long holiday weekend, I bring you some classic, country-fried southern rock music. But this music is some home cooking from Southern Maryland.

Hailing from Germantown, MD, Clutch formed in 1990. Their lyrics, initially angry and serious in tone, had by the time of 1993's Transnational Speedway League become characterized by intelligence, wordplay, and often humor. The band has gone on to release nine studio albums, as well as live discs and rarities. My personal favorite album, From Beale Street to Oblivion, contains the song Electric Worry. Here is the song and video. Oh, but quickly, for anyone who is a fan of Ace of Cakes (filmed here in Baltimore), the lead singer's, Neil Fallon, younger sister is one of the main characters on the show: Mary Alice.




I feel like this would be the perfect song to have playing in the background for any BBQ that you attend this weekend. Enjoy a few burgers and some cold beer, turn up whatever music you're listening to, and (most importantly) have a good time. But, also remember what this holiday represents. I feel like that is lost sometimes.

Happy Fourth of July!

Thursday, July 1, 2010

Fancy a Gander?

Followers