Friday, May 28, 2010

Michael Jordan's Moustache

Hanes has a new commerical out that features Michael Jordan and...some guy sitting on a plane discussing various topics (Click on "Hanes" if you want to actually watch them). I presume that these commercials are supposed to be witty and humorous as we watch Mike sit and listen to this guy. In reality, they should have just named this series of commercials "Michael Jordan's paycheck." However, I find myself severly distracted while trying to watch these commercials. Why, you ask? Well...take a look at Air Jordan's upper lip. Still don't see it?

Here let me help:

Either Mike is a huge Charlie Chaplin fan or he has decided to take a huge leap in the mustache world. The mustache rules are not allowed to be published, for obvious reasons, but those brave men that choose to rock the 'stache don't generally choose to look like Hitler. I understand that Hitler's mustache didn't personally have anything to do with his atrocious and monstrous behavior, but pretty much anything that reminds people of Hitler is off-limits. I can't believe that no one at Hanes had a problem with this. Also, let's be frank here for a moment. The Hitler 'stach hasn't exactly caught on. And you know why? Because it looks fucking silly. It looks like you and your razor got tired fighting towards the middle of your lip and just decided to give up.

I know Mike isn't one to give up. But, in this case...maybe let this one go, MJ. You look ridiculous.

Friday Music

Happy Friday and early Memorial Day, everyone. Anytime we get an extra day of weekend, I am on board. I assume that we will all be handling the BBQ's, beach, drinking, and outdoor festivities. In my opinion, music makes all of these all the better. For this Friday's music, I have decided to go with a relatively (for me at least) new band called Passion Pit. This is my favorite song that I have heard from them so far, called "The Reeling" and it makes me want to cut a rug and/or dance right out of my shoes. Plus, the video is pretty rad.

Passion Pit hails from Boston and have been gaining considerable momentum recently, akin to the internet buzz of MGMT or Kings of Leon in the past. I really love the psychedelic groves and tones as they marry with lead singer, Michael Angelakos’ smooth falsetto.

Passion Pit is coming into town and playing at Ram's Head on June 2nd. However, the show is already sold-out along with their 9:30 Club performance. They're only going to get bigger as a band, so try and check them out now before ticket prices climb.

Here is their song, "The Reeling." The chorus: "Look at me, oh look at me, is this the way I’ll always be, oh nooooo, oh nooooo!" is infectious (try and keep it out of your head) and something I'm sure we can all relate to. Have a listen.

Thursday, May 27, 2010

Blatant Product Endorsement: Apple

I am an admitted Apple enthusiast. I absolutely love my iPhone, I've had an iPod ever since MP3's took over the portable music market, and I am in the process of purchasing a notebook. Also, next time you are in Best Buy, go play with the iPad. I really thought it was going to be lame and gimmicky, but dammit...that thing is really cool too.

In the wake of the latest news, Apple overtook Microsoft as the world's biggest tech company. In lieu of this, here is my top 5 list for applications you should definitely procure for your iPhone/iPod/iPad/iWhatever. I'm going to skip the traditional apps that most people use, such as Shazam, Huff Post, Trapster, etc. etc. etc.

Number 5: Perfect Balance Harmony

First up! I just came across this game. It's similiar to Tetris, but only in the shape of the pieces that you will be playing with. At the top of the screen, you will notice many different shapes that you begin with. This game is really simple: stack the shapes on the block at the bottom so that they remain balanced for a few seconds. The game gets more difficult as you go on, but it's fun and challenging. Perfect for class, work, or driving! Don't play and drive.

Here is the trailer:

Number 4: Moron Test

This game/app is addictive as you try and prove that you aren' fact, a moron. It's hard to explain without really giving anything away. Basically there is a timer and seemingly simple tasks to complete. However, many times you will overthinkg and mess up, thus having to begin anew. Do you remember taking those tests back in elementary school to see if you have read the directions, and if you don't you will do a lot of dumb things? That can't be just me, right? Well, in any case, that is the type of game this is. Check it out and make sure that all of your friends know that they are morons and you are not.

Here is the trailer:

Number 3: Zombieville

This game is a side-scrolling adventure game that's as easy to play as the first Mario Brothers. I completely love zombies and will try just about any game that features them. In this game, you assume the role of a survivor that must traverse each level without getting eaten for dinner...or lunch, or whatever meal schedule that zombies abide to. This game is constantly updated and never ceases to be fun. New characters, each with a set ability over the other characters, new weapons, vehicles, and other items have been added. As you travel each level, make sure you stop in houses and grab the money and ammo. After each level, you can purchase health and new ammo and weapons. Don't become zombie food!

Here is the trailer:


In this game, you control a catapult for your king. The purpose is to attack the rival royal families via destruction! As the game progresses you procure different ammo that has different destructive capabilities. I have been playing this game the most recently, pretty much anytime work gets slow or if I get stuck at a redlight. It's addictively fun.

Hint: You can go back and replay levels with the new ammo that you receive as you go on.

Here is a fanmade trailer:

...annnnd my number 1 favorite game/app. for my portable Apple device is: FRUIT NINJA! It's common knowledge that ninjas hate fruit. If you are ever feeling froggy and really want to piss off a ninja (I have NO idea why you would), simply throw a mango, an apple, or a kiwi at them. This game is addictively simple, to the point where upon picking it up, it's pretty easy to instantly know what to do. Your finger, in essence, is a ninja blade used for the purpose of defending your honor from malicious and misguided fruit. You slice and dice your way through a multitude of flying fruit, leaving a devastating path of delicious smoothy ingredients at your feet. Sounds pretty easy, huh? FALSE! The trick is that there are also flying bombs that simmer through the air. If you so even much as nick any part of them, well then your game is over and you must begin anew. You get three strikes, which count as fruit that you let slip passed you (no good ninja allows this). However, for every 100 pieces of fruit, a strike will go away. This is one of the very few games that I have actually purchased (for the staggering price of $0.99). Also making the game worth the price, Halfbrick Studios (makers of the game) continually update the game (for free) with new fruit and new gameplay options. The newest addition is Zen mode where, in the place of bombs, there is now a time limit. For this game mode, the prospective fruit ninja must slice his or her way through combos to accumulate the highest score over a set period of time.

Personal High Scores:

Classic Mode --> 646

Zen Mode --> 226

Still not convinced? Try this trailer on for size!

Honorable Mentions:

Craving more fun games/apps, well then check out these. I don't feel like doing a big write-up for all of them, but they are all fun and worthy of getting.
  • Paper Toss - This game is cool and simple. Basically, you go through various locations, such as an airport, basement, cubicle, bathroom, etc., and have to throw a paper ball into a trashcan at varying lengths. Also, there is a fan that blows at different speeds. Pretty cool.

  • Words With Friends / Chess With Friends - These games are a lot of fun too. They used to be higher on my list, but I got pretty burnt out on them. Do you like Scrabble? Do you like Chess? If yes, then you will like these. Added Bonus: you get to play against your friends.

  • JaredAllen/Zombie Me - These are two cool apps b/c you can take pictures you have taken of your friends and turn them into either a redneck (complete with mullet) or a zombie. Cool.

  • Dexter, The Game - Do you like Dexter? Then buy this game. It's the most expensive game I have purchased ($5), but well worth it. Could easily be a Playstation game. Great quality and gameplay, especially for a phone game.

  • Emoji - This is cool for texting only. You get to send cartoon pictures to other people that have iPhones. It's fun.

  • Spilldamilk - This game is pretty addictive and you have played it before. You throw a softball at metal milk jugs. Fun.

Well, that's my list! Let me know what you think in the comments section.

Cartoon Realism

Growing up, I loved watching cartoons. I use the term "growing up" loosely as I don't feel like a grown up, aside from paying taxes and having to go to work. I still love watching cartoons and The Simpsons is still one of my favorite shows. However, it becomes a surreal experience when you witness one of the voice actors doing the voice of the character in person. Continuing with this notion of realism, it is even more surreal when confronted with what the cartoon character would look outside of their pastel and neon colored world.

Bart Simpson

Bart is one of the most iconic cartoon characters of my generation. I still remember, in middle school, discovering that Bart was voiced by a woman...and it blew my mind. Nancy Cartwright has been the voice of Bart since the beginning of the show. As if he were one of her own children, Nancy has said, "Bart is a really good kid. He's just mischievous. He's not bad, like characters who followed him such as [Eric] Cartman or Beavis and Butthead. Bart can do some nasty things, but they seem so tame, by today's standards. What was shocking 19 years ago, when the show started, isn't the least bit shocking today. Bart hasn't changed." As do all of the other voice actors, Nancy is responsible for other characters, including Nelson Muntz, Ralph Wiggum, and Rod and Todd Flanders. Here is a video of Nancy doing several of her voices on the show:

Skip to around 2:30

Here is what Bart would look like in real life:


(click to enlarge - worth it for these)

Homer Simpson

Continuing with The Simpsons theme, since they are my favorite cartoon, we come to Homer J. Simpson. During the first few seasons of the show, Bart was always my favorite. He was generally the protagonist for the episode, in terms of comedic conflict and resolution. However, as the series progressed and...I use this loosely, "matured," Homer began to emerge from Bart's shadow to become the main comedic element. He is voiced by Dan Castellaneta. He also does Krusty, Barney, Grandpa, among others. Here is a video of Dan doing voices:

And here is what Homer would look like if he were a real person:

(again...creepy, but click to see a bigger picture)

(added bonus - real life Mr. Burns!)

Peter & Stewie Griffin

Without The Simpsons many primetime cartoon shows would not exist. However, Family Guy is one of the few that has given credit to The Simpsons as an inspiration. While there are many similiarties between the shows, Family Guy is hilarious and continues the traditions that The Simpsons set forth originally. Seth McFarlane is responsible for doing many of the voices on the show, including Peter and Stewie Griffin. Here is a video of him doing many of the voices:

And here is what Peter and Stewie would look like if they were real:

(again, click to expand)

There are many other examples of these and I'm sure I will post another grouping or two. In the meantime, here is a movie poster of what a live action Simpsons movie would look like along with a real life Simpsons opening intro.

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Oh, Baltimore...

I have been living in Baltimore for almost a year now. I love this city (despite the asshole traffic enforcement). It has a ton of history, dozens of fantastic places to eat and drink, it's easy to get around, and it is generally a chill place to live for younger adults. Now, I know there are really awful places to live, but I don't go there and I'm perfectly happy to leave them on my DVD copy of The Wire. All in all, Baltimore is a cool place to live.

Baltimore is also one of the funniest places that I have ever spent a significant period of time in. I have seen and witnessed some of the most strangely awkward situations in my life here, to which you can only shake your head and laugh. There are definitely some weirdos living in Charm City.

Alcohol has a lot to do with many of the strange occurences here. For example, this picture was taken during a bar crawl that we witnessed on the way to...breakfast. Yes, the first meal of the day. If you click on the picture to enlarge it, you will witness a woman completely passed out on the steps of someone's house. My buddy, Jad, snuck up very close to capture this beast in her natural habitat (i.e. passed the eff out on a stoop before 10:30). This bar crawl would later lead to a multitude of fights (including a stabbing), general debauchery, and many other people passed out. This lovely lady just decided to take the plunge early and won the award for First Passed Out Chick of the day. Further, it should be noted that she has absolutely no clue that anyone was talking about her, let alone that someone was brave enough to sneak up to her to clearly take a picture. Keep it classy.

Speaking of passed out, I came across this on a walk...not home, but going out. Pretty sure it was after a Raven's game. However, this was such a find. The guys were clearly spent after a long evening of partying. Yet, they found the strength to order a pizza (Domino's is across the street) and proceed to devour it. However, all of this effort clearly made them sleepy as they laid back for a quick snooze. It should be noted that they both still had yet-to-be finished pieces of pizza in each of their hands. The scene was eerily reminiscient of a Romeo and Juliet suicide pact, except instead of poison and daggers it was alcohol and pizza.

In terms of passing out, it is a great feeling to capture the subject completely passed out. Yet, it is another story all together to capture each stage of the subject traveling the dark and lonely path to passedoutdom. The best and most readily available subject: The Baltimore Bum.

In the first picture, we find the bum in one of his natural habitats: the bar. Having chugged as many Natty Boh's for as much change as he had rounded up, it is possible to see his eyelids getting heavy. It is here that we will find the bum singing the wrong words to songs (or just blatantly shouting), attempting to hit on women, possibly urinating on himself, and many other fun activities. In the second picture, we find the bum has moved outdoors. Slumber has her claws in him now, as he attempts to dance his way out of it. However, the dance moves aren't working as we find in picture three. Nap time! But what other way is there to pass out on a bus stop bench than with another beer? If this is wrong, then the Baltimore Bum doesn't want to be right.

Not everyone that lives in Baltimore is confined to foot traffic. In fact, many people drive motor vehicles. The varying degree of vehicle is what makes Baltimore unique.

This lovely truck was parked outside of my house one fateful day, no doubt lowering the value of my neighborhood. The truck is apparently owned by Misses (sic) Ellen Sunday and her fantastic cats. Your eyes are not deceiving you; yes, those are cats with laser beams shooting out of their eyes, thus making them fantastic. The rest of the truck was covered in various stickers that usually can be found on the refrigerator of a family with a small child. I can only speculate to the type of person that would drive this truck. However, I must give credit to any woman that cares after the lonely laser beam-eyed cats of the world. Lord knows that someone has to...

This next vehicle is one of my favorites. It is a large white van littered with various keepsakes and motivational phrases. The highlight can be found above the grill: "GOD. MADE. CHiLdREN WiNNER'S." So...many...questions...

First, God made children winners of what? What exactly are these children winning? All children are not winners, as made clear by the above car, the above bums, the above people passed out on the street, and whatever person drives this vehicle. Second, could someone not help the driver out with some more capital letters? If God made children winners of, I presume, everything, couldn't He take a minute to capitalize the poor driver's "i's" and "d" to really drive home the point? The fire blue flame atop the windshield shows that the driver really means business, which is only further accentuated by the chrome spoiler, exhaust, and side vents. For God's. Sake. Let's save some money. On. The. Chrome. And splurge for some. Capital Letter's.

Finally, I was lucky enough to snag this picture on my way to work one morning. Seriously, dude...a segway? While the segway is the leader in personal, green transportation, transforming the way you work, play and live, could there be a more douchey way to travel? Like, you just look like a loser. I am sure they are cool to drive and are fun, but do you really need to get one for the purpose of your morning commute? I laugh at the cops that ride around on these things. This guy is the only non-cop that I have witnessed driving around (is it even called driving?) on one of these. How would you pick up a girl with one of these? Is he married? Does his wife think this is cool? Further, how does she allow him to leave the house? Does he ever go pick up the kids from school with it?

All of these questions flood my mind as I drive past this guy everyday. Yes, I pass this guy daily. I can only imagine how hard I would want to punch him in the face if I worked with him and he ever bitched about the morning commute. "Really, had a rough commute? You ride to work on half of a robot. You look like a super hero. I was sitting in traffic for an hour on 695 in my shitty Toyota thinking about the latest Dora the Explorer episode that I watched this morning with my kids. I truly hate you."

My part of Baltimore can also be a dangerous place...for drunks. This tends to happen every weekend:

2 lessons: Don't mess with Baltimore cops (again, check The Wire) and Don't wear a Yankess hat. You already look like a front-running tool, plus you will get beat up.
All in all, Baltimore is awesome. As I encounter more crazy situations, I'll continue to post them. Come visit, you'll have a good time.

Tuesday, May 25, 2010


Happy Tuesday, everyone. Time for some more pictures that I think are cool.

I'm going with a common theme for this one. I really dig urban street art and the manner in which certain artists incorporate art into the everyday. I admire people that take objects that we all see daily and transform them into another entity entirely.


Monday, May 24, 2010

Some Videos

Happy Monday. I had a good weekend and I hope you did as well. Here are some videos:

This kid is awesome.

Otters are great.

Those videos may have knocked the cuteness quota over the limit. Let's get to some kung-fu!

Friday, May 21, 2010

Rose-Tinted Glasses

As an idiom, the fixed expression "rose-tinted glasses" non-literally refers to an instance where an individual looks back upon something more favorably than it ever truly was. This happens predominately when looking back upon one's childhood. This is going to be another running feature here on ArtInn about such instances when you realize that something you used to love as a child actually turns out to be something else entirely. And for the most part, by "something else," I will generally mean that whatever we loved was either corrupt (and not as innocent as it appeared), stupid, or it just plain sucks now as an adult. Ah, the death of childhood innocence...

For the first RTG feature, let's take a look at CARTOONS. Maybe, as a product of my generation, it's difficult to understand a different time in history and what it was like to live back then (as far as decency standards). Pretty much all of this is offensive, disturbing...and, at the very least, conjured up using poor judgement. Sometimes that is what makes it funny; yet, it is difficult not to shake your head at these.

I remember growing up with Nickelodeon and the Disney Channel, spending many a morning eating bowls of cereal in my footed pajamas, sprawled out on the carpet in front of the television. One of the most distinct characters that I remember watching at that time is Foghorn Leghorn and thinking of him solely as a giant Southern rooster. Upon a further (and more adult) review, I would say that he is the epitomy of a Southern dixie politician and a bigot. Foghorn was modeled by Warner Brothers after Senator Beauregard Claghorn of Charleston South Carolina. He was a Southern politician that frequently appeared on Fred Allen’s radio program. Through his speech, Foghorn Leghorn uses an almost verbatim quote of Claghorn, right down to his catch phrases “Pay attention to me, son” and “That’s a joke, son.” The latter, according to radio legend, was originally a toss-off line the Senator used once when a joke fell flat with the studio audience. One of Foghorn's favorite lines: “There’s somethin’, I say, there’s something kinda Ewwww about a boy that’s never played baseball” directly portrays his intelligent nephew as a homosexual due to him favoring books over sports.

As an aside, here are some other quotes by Claghorn:

"When I'm in New York I'll never go the Yankee Stadium!"
"I won't even go to see the Giants unless a Southpaw's pitchin'!"
"When I got the Chicken Pox, they were southern fried!"

If you want to read more about Foghorn Leghorn, you can go here:

I chose Foghorn Leghorn as the first character to be discussed because I distinctly remember him as a child. However, he is surely not the only controversal character in the Warner Brothers' family. There are other cartoon characters that exhibit character concerns. How about Pepe Le Pew? He is a French love-sick skunk with a smelly disposition that is convinced females are constantly trying to flirt with him (clearly high praise for French men). Well, Pepe has a great lession for those watching his exploits: when a woman says no she is just playing hard-to-get. Further, since she is just being coy, you can do just about anything to get her including giving her a fake identity, drugging her, and forcing yourself upon her. What about Speedy Gonzales? Speedy is known to run extremely fast while spewing generic "Mexican" catchphrases written by white people. He can usually be found wearing a white shirt and pants, a giant yellow sombrero, and a red sash, which is similiar to what one would wear to the San Fermin festival (see: Running of the Bulls). According to wikipedia: In 1999, the Cartoon Network ceased to air Speedy Gonzales. In an interview she gave to Fox News on March 28, 2002, Cartoon Network spokeswoman Laurie Goldberg commented, "It hasn't been on the air for years because of its ethnic stereotypes." This is widely believed to refer to Speedy's fellow mice, who are all shown as being very slow and lazy, and sometimes even appear intoxicated. This is particularly true of Speedy's cousin, Slowpoke Rodriguez, who is exceptionally slow and lazy. Slowpoke is also known to carry a gun.

Here is an early concept drawing of Speedy, prior to his makeover. No stereotyping going on here. Speedy returned to the airwaves in 2002 because the level of stereotyping was minor compared to the World War II era cartoons as well as the protests of many Hispanics who said they were not offended and fondly remembered Speedy Gonzales cartoons from their youth.

Speaking of WWII era cartoons...

World War II was one of the most polarizing historical events to happen in the Modern World. While it had effectual fingers deeply inserted into economic and political fields, the greatest impact occured on a sociological level. For the purposes of this column, the sociological affectual action truly revealed itself via entertainment products (read: propaganda).

This is subtle:

Here are the Three Little Pigs and the Blitz:

Popeye the Sailor v. the Japanese ("You're a Sap, Mr. Jap")

Finally...this commercial is hilarious:

I am sure that I missed a plethora of other examples of inappropriate-ness in childhood cartoons, especially since I didn't even touch Disney and some of that perversion. In any case, if you want to delve deeper into this and read a (much) more thorough article about this, definitely check out:

Friday Music

Thank God it's finally Friday. While we are only a hiccup away from it being Monday again, let's savor this taste for the moment. And, for me, nothing goes better with a good meal than a nice side of steady bass funk and dirty guitar chords.

I'm going to be putting up a new song every Friday b/c...well, it gives me something to do and if you're like me, you enjoy hearing about some good new music, especially (not to sound like someone's grandfather waving his cane) with all of the crappy crap music out there currently. For my first Friday music, I'm going to go with some Black Keys.

The Black Keys just released their new album, Brothers, earlier this week. If you're looking for some new music to get into walk...nay, run to your nearest record shop (read: computer) and pick up (read: illegally download) the album. This is lead singer, Dan Auerbach's strongest lyrical album to date and the music behind his words has a 1970's soul tone to it. Dan even says as much: "I've been listening to lots of 1970, 1971 soul records, Curtis Mayfield, where it's just falsetto everywhere. I was listening to so much of it at the time — I still am — I heard a song and said, 'Wow, it'd be cool if I could do that,' and I just did." One of the best tracks from the album is "Next Girl."

This is one of the most tongue-in-cheek hilarious videos that I have ever seen. I'll leave it at that and let you take away from it what you will. In regard to the video: "I totally disliked it," Auerbach said of the "Next Girl" video. "It's weird because we hate it so much and think it's really stupid and not funny at all and not smart or clever in any way, but it's got, like, 6 gazillion hits. I wrote the scroll. I said, '"The only way I would allow this stupid fucking video on the Internet is if you put this on the bottom' — and they did it."

The Black Keys make their way into D.C. on July 26th at DAR Constitution Hall. I already picked up my ticket and so should you.

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Does This Guy Get Laid?

My blog here is pretty new. As such, I have been playing around with ideas to run for my readers (all three or so of you). All of my favorite blogs that I frequent have running features on them, which rewards my obsessive checking of them. For that reason, I'm going to start a running feature here on ArtInn: "Does This Guy Get Laid?"

All you need to do is take a look at the picture and leave comments below. More than likely, I'll just put up ridiculous pictures of my friends, but I am ALWAYS open to suggestions. Let's keep it as funny as possible.

Make sure to vote!

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Wizards Rising

Being a fan of the local teams in D.C. hasn't exactly been easy. Collectively, we have traversed the spectrum of emotions many times. However, few and far between have we taken a vacation into the "ecstatic" category and only once in my life have I witnessed "euphoric" (Redskins Super Bowl Victory - 1991; yes, 8 years old). Recently though, the tide appears to be turning as the Capitals are being built to be Stanley Cup Champions, the Redskins are (FINALLY) being run by football minds with Super Bowl victories (a novel approach - go figure), and the Nationals aren't completely terrible (i feign enthusiasm - it's baseball after all). It is now possible to add the Wizards to the mix, as the team won the right to draft the first overall pick in the upcoming draft. For now, the emotional spectrum reader is hovering around "cautiously optimistic."

Before it is possible to look into the future, one must look to the past. The Wizards have drafted first overall only once before in the modern era...and, it didn't exactly go well. My fingers waver and a panic sweats across my brow while I type his name: Kwame "At Least I'm Not Darko Milicic" Brown. Kwame was taken first overall in Michael "How Do I Run a Franchise?" Jordan's first official act as then-GM. He was high school senior at the time and the first high school senior to ever be drafted 1st overall. It was difficult to not realize how young he truly was at the time; his shaking hands, the awkward senior picture smile, and the random adolescent pimples that littered his face. Was this kid honestly ready to be drafted first overall? Was he ready to be the savior of a franchise? Was he ready to play with the unrelenting pursuit of greatness that was Michael Jordan? In hindsight, the answer clearly (and sadly) was no. However, I can't fathom that too many high school seniors would be ready for that type of pressure, which makes the age limit in the NBA a positive rule change. In any case, there is no escaping that, to be blunt, Kwame sucked. The best move he ever made was being traded for Caron Butler. There is even a fitting website to the magnitude of suck that is Kwame Brown's career:

Kwame is probably a nice enough guy, but a mid to late round draft pick at best. In reference to the good fortune of last night's draft, columnist David Steele said it best: "Just don't take Kwame Brown again. Or anyone named Kwame or anyone named Brown. Now, armed guards to keep Michael Jordan from coming anywhere near the city limits until the draft's over."

Folks, this is why drafting on potential is not always the best strategy.

The drafting of Kwame Brown, while an epic failure, does not even come close to the misfortune the Wizards experienced during last season. The team's best player, Gilbert Arenas was arrested for bringing guns into the locker room, the remaining corps. of, what was presumed to be franchise, players were traded away, and the team's longtime and revered owner, Abe Polin, passed away due to brain disease. Things could not have possibly gotten worse for any professional franchise over a season. Enter Ted Leonsis.

If I had the chance for anyone to purchase a lottery ticket for me, it would be Ted Leonsis. The man turned the Capitals (a bottom dweller of a team) into consistent Stanley Cup contenders. Upon his purchase of the Capitals, they were awarded the number one overall draft pick, to which Ted chose the most talented hockey player on the planet, Alex Ovechkin. Now Ted also owns the majority of the Wizards franchise. History does indeed repeat itself.

Ted chose Abe Polin's widow Irene, in her last act as the majority owner, to represent the team last night in the draft lottery. She wore the 1978 Bullets championship ring that Abe wore his entire life, up until he passed, for good luck. Irene stated: "I didn't think of it as a lucky charm. I just know that he never took this off. I figured, I wanted a part of him here today."

Her face upon realizing that the Washington franchise had won the top pick:
The Wizards now have the opportunity to take one of the best pure point guard prospects to come out of college in recent memory. The NBA is a point guard league, as more athletic big men have developed outside shots and refuse to pound it inside. Recent rookie pg's have turned around the fortunes of franchises immediately. Derrick Rose with Chicago, Deron Williams with Utah, and Chris Paul with Charlotte/Oklahoma City/New Orleans Hornets (how badly would Atlanta like a mulligan there? Marvin Williams, anyone?) immediately come to mind. The Wizards now have the opportunity to take their own difference maker and he lacks the uncertainty of an aforementioned high school senior. John Wall is 6'4 and moves like the human embodiment of smooth. Magic Johnson, arguably the best pg ever, even stated: "The Wizards have got to take John Wall. They must take this kid. When he's got the ball in his hands, he causes excitement. You can always get an Evan Turner (the next best prospect and college player of the year). He's a very, very good player. But there will be an Evan Turner in next year's draft. The game has changed. John Wall's got a little special in him. You can't pass on him." It is beyond difficult to argue with Magic.

For the first time in years, I am actually excited about Wizards Basketball. Hopefully the Wizards do the smart thing and take Wall. He will energize DC Sports just as Ovechkin did when he came into town. Further, as Spencer noted (and I failed to mention) in the comments, the number one draft pick also appeals to would-be free agents. Due to the trades earlier this season, the 'Zards are working with considerable cap room and it's feasible to think that the team could lure a Joe Johnson or even a Chris Bosh. Let us remember that the Wiz also hold the 30th overall pick in this draft, as well as the 35th overall, which falls in the second round.
Hopefully this:

will lead to another one of these:
It would certainly be nice to welcome John Wall to D.C. and add the Wizards to the rising cast of local professional sports.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

We've Got Company! Get Out of There!


In my opinion, Tuesday is just as crappy as his loser friend, Monday. Sure, everyone appreciates Tuesday, but only b/c Monday is such a jerk.

Since the beginning of the week generally isn't as much fun as the end, I'm going to try and put some sweet pictures to look at every week in any effort to hold my breath until the weekend.

Hopefully they will all be awe-inspiring and/or humorous, but for different reasons.

Fancy a Gander?