RTG: Super Mario Crossover

If you grew up in the 90's, as I did, then you are fully aware of the awesome piece of machine lore that lies to the left of these words. This hardware has induced millions of nerdgasms throughout the years and still influences video games and modern media alike. And when hearing the word "Nintendo," what is the first thing that comes to mind? Well, for me at least, that is Mario.

I still remember growing up and getting a Nintendo for Christmas. My kindergarten was abuzz in the days prior (I almost used 'weeks' as the duration, but let's be honest, as a child I had no concept of looking that far ahead) to Christmas wondering who was going to get their grubby little hands on the heralded device. I vividly recall ripping off the colored paper, hooking up (my Dad hooking up) the system, shoving the cartridge in, and hitting start. I was immediately welcomed into a new world:



Ahh...nostalgia was so much better in the old days. In any case, I'm sure I'm not the only one that had this same experience. I can't even imagine how many hours I have put into this game and how much fun it used to be. Nowadays, with its 8-bit limitations and simple controls, this game would be quickly dismissed. But, just like a remix can be a breath of fresh air to an older song, enter Jay Pavlina, the man responsible for Super Mario Crossover.

In Super Mario Crossover, the gamer is granted the privilege of re-playing the original Super Mario Brothers with other characters. Mario is still present, but I rarely play with him in this game b/c why not just play the original then? In this reboot, the gamer can choose to play with Link (Legend of Zelda), Bill Rizer (Contra), Simon Belmont (Castlevania), Mega Man (well, from Mega Man), and/or Samus (Metroid). The controls will feel very familiar if you have ever played the original Mario game. However, each one of these characters brings along some of the gameplay from their respective games. Just like Mario, each character changes when they eat a mushroom or a flower. For example, when Mega Man consumes a mushroom, he gets "big" by putting his helmet on. When he eats a flower, his laser pellet shooting gun changes and becomes more powerful.

Super Mario Crossover thrives because it allows the player to re-enter a nostalgic period while experiencing an interesting and new wrinkle in gameplay. Just as a movie or a song can bring the viewer or listener back to a period of time, so can a video game. However, after coming along in the late 80's, it is refreshing to experience new gameplay in essentially the first game I was ever exposed to. As an aside, it's interesting to note that the original Super Mario Brothers was the best-selling video game of all-time until being surpassed by Wii Sports (another Nintendo title) in 2009.

Here is video of the game's creator, Jay Pavlina, playing the new title. Some of the language is NSFW and he can come off as a douche at times, but overall he is fairly funny and the video shows off the gameplay.



If you are interested in trying out the game for yourself, here is the link:

SUPER MARIO CROSSOVER

Enjoy!

BONUS VIDEO!

fridaymusic

Happy Friday, everyone. Although this was a short work week because of Memorial Day, I'm not sure that it felt like it. In any case, the weather outside is getting warmer (and more humid), the bugs are starting to come out, and the evenings are-a growin' a longa.

To celebrate the upcoming lazy days days of summer, I have come across a fitting band and type of music to play while you are lounging out in the grass somewhere, feeling the sweat trickle off of your glass and forehead.

Dr. Fox's Old Timey String Band is definitely one of, if not THE, greatest name for a band that I have ever heard. More perfect words for a band could not be chosen for the type of music that they perform. Hailing from Castlemaine, County Kerry in Ireland, hearing their music you would think these guys come straight from the bluegrass in Kentucky. According to a website called Puck Fair, Dr. Fox's Old Timey String Band plays "a mixture of Bluegrass, Old time and Americana, which combines a harmonic vocal mix reminiscent of early Guster with a loose freakfolk use of fiddle and banjo which most modern listeners associate with the Avett Brothers or Sufjan."

I couldn't possibly have said it better myself. Here is Dr. Fox's Old Timey Stringband's (that never stops being fun to type) cover of MGMT's Kids. Enjoy!




*BONUS SONG*

Since it's Friday, how about another song and MGMT cover? It's by Katy Perry (I know), but it's actually a cool cover. And it's not like she's rough on the eyes either...

Happy Friday!

Things That I Hate

We all have situations, people, or inanimate objects that we...well, to be blunt, hate. As much as it catches a bad rap, hatred is a natural part of being a human. In fact, without hatred, it would be impossible to ever feel love. But, I digress as I don't want to turn this into a philosophical forum. Further, some things really should be hated. There are some times in life where I look at something and...I just hate it. I'm sure you feel the same way.

Here is my (current) list of things that I hate:

Cinnamon Jelly Bellys

I don't really eat a lot of candy and I really don't eat a lot of Jelly Bellys at that. But, Easter wasn't all that far away and I got a few bags of Jelly Bellys. Is there anything worse than eating a Cinnamon Jelly Belly? I'm cruising along enjoying the delicious and mouth-watering flavors of Very Cherry, Strawberry Jam, or Raspberry when Cinnamon has to ruin everything. Seriously, Cinnamon is that loser friend that we all have that ruins a great conversation with some dumb interjection. Cinnamon is officially the Buzz Killington of Jelly Bellys.


And I wouldn't be laughing too hard there, Buttered Popcorn. You really aren't that far off from Cinnamon. The only thing saving you is your clearly marked shell of shame. At least you're not pretending to be something you aren't...like that bastard, Cinnamon.

Public Bathroom Doors


Seriously, what is up with these? They implore you to wash your hands after each use, which everyone clearly should, and yet...you have to put your just-washed hands back on the door to open it. Why do the majority of bathroom doors require you to pull them open to leave? Wouldn't it make more sense for bathroom doors to push out so you can leave with your hands still basking in complete cleanliness? I'm not even OCD, but how does this not make sense? I cannot be the first person to think of this. Further, to an extent, it negates anyone in a restaurant washing their hands if they just have to put them back on the handle to open the door. This is even assuming that everyone that goes to a public bathroom does wash their hands. What about the people that don't? So after washing my hands I have to open the door behind someone that didn't? Why don't I just go in and help them use the toilet? This bothers me and makes zero sense.

Pizza Not Being Good For You

I'm not sure about you, but I truly believe that Pizza is the most delicious thing I can eat. Pizza is how I know that God exists. I refuse to not capitalize the word b/c it is that delicious. I could literally eat Pizza once a day. However, you would die if you were to do that. Pizza is generally awful for you. Pizza was invented in America and America put a man on the moon! You're telling me that it is not possible to make a delicious pizza that is actually pretty good for you? Really...we have no way of doing this? If we can't even make a delicious pizza what chance do we have against cancer, aids, alzheimer's, or the epidemic facing our child actors? I am truly at a loss here. I hate that Pizza is not as healthy as it is delicious.

And, for the record, I love pineapple and mushrooms.

Birds

There, I said it. I hate birds. I love going to the Zoo, but I can't think of any other type of animal that I would rather not go look at. Birds do nothing for me. I think they're boring to look at, most of them are stupid, they crap everywhere. I dunno, they're not for me. But, I can't say it as funny as this kid does:


I don't think I actualy "hate" birds, but I do think they suck. I also liked finding an excuse to post that video b/c that kid cracks me up. But, speaking of birds...

The Duck Face

I have no idea why girls do this in pictures. You know the one. It's where a girl will try and look seductively at the camera, kind of...I dunno, pucker her lips, and basically try and look as hot as she can, in her head at least. Well...stop doing it. You look retarded or at the very least like you just ate something really sour. It doesn't look as hot as you think it does.

does not equal

Tuesday Pics!

Happy Tuesday, everyone. I hope that you all had a nice Memorial Day weekend. I love long weekends, but the first day back is always rough. At least it will still be a short week.

This whole BP oil leak has truly become a debacle. It really frustrates me and...well, flat out pisses me off that this thing has been allowed to progress to the point it has. And now it is being reported that they won't be able to stop the oil until August? Are you kidding me? Further, the leak has now impacted the Mushroom Kingdom.



It is difficult to make light of the situation, but really...sometimes you just have to laugh at some part of something in order to not get angry, upset, or apathetic. Here are some other pictures that will hopefully make you laugh.

Michael Jordan's Moustache

Hanes has a new commerical out that features Michael Jordan and...some guy sitting on a plane discussing various topics (Click on "Hanes" if you want to actually watch them). I presume that these commercials are supposed to be witty and humorous as we watch Mike sit and listen to this guy. In reality, they should have just named this series of commercials "Michael Jordan's paycheck." However, I find myself severly distracted while trying to watch these commercials. Why, you ask? Well...take a look at Air Jordan's upper lip. Still don't see it?

Here let me help:


Either Mike is a huge Charlie Chaplin fan or he has decided to take a huge leap in the mustache world. The mustache rules are not allowed to be published, for obvious reasons, but those brave men that choose to rock the 'stache don't generally choose to look like Hitler. I understand that Hitler's mustache didn't personally have anything to do with his atrocious and monstrous behavior, but pretty much anything that reminds people of Hitler is off-limits. I can't believe that no one at Hanes had a problem with this. Also, let's be frank here for a moment. The Hitler 'stach hasn't exactly caught on. And you know why? Because it looks fucking silly. It looks like you and your razor got tired fighting towards the middle of your lip and just decided to give up.

I know Mike isn't one to give up. But, in this case...maybe let this one go, MJ. You look ridiculous.

Friday Music

Happy Friday and early Memorial Day, everyone. Anytime we get an extra day of weekend, I am on board. I assume that we will all be handling the BBQ's, beach, drinking, and outdoor festivities. In my opinion, music makes all of these all the better. For this Friday's music, I have decided to go with a relatively (for me at least) new band called Passion Pit. This is my favorite song that I have heard from them so far, called "The Reeling" and it makes me want to cut a rug and/or dance right out of my shoes. Plus, the video is pretty rad.

Passion Pit hails from Boston and have been gaining considerable momentum recently, akin to the internet buzz of MGMT or Kings of Leon in the past. I really love the psychedelic groves and tones as they marry with lead singer, Michael Angelakos’ smooth falsetto.

Passion Pit is coming into town and playing at Ram's Head on June 2nd. However, the show is already sold-out along with their 9:30 Club performance. They're only going to get bigger as a band, so try and check them out now before ticket prices climb.

Here is their song, "The Reeling." The chorus: "Look at me, oh look at me, is this the way I’ll always be, oh nooooo, oh nooooo!" is infectious (try and keep it out of your head) and something I'm sure we can all relate to. Have a listen.

Blatant Product Endorsement: Apple

I am an admitted Apple enthusiast. I absolutely love my iPhone, I've had an iPod ever since MP3's took over the portable music market, and I am in the process of purchasing a notebook. Also, next time you are in Best Buy, go play with the iPad. I really thought it was going to be lame and gimmicky, but dammit...that thing is really cool too.

In the wake of the latest news, Apple overtook Microsoft as the world's biggest tech company. In lieu of this, here is my top 5 list for applications you should definitely procure for your iPhone/iPod/iPad/iWhatever. I'm going to skip the traditional apps that most people use, such as Shazam, Huff Post, Trapster, etc. etc. etc.





Number 5: Perfect Balance Harmony

First up! I just came across this game. It's similiar to Tetris, but only in the shape of the pieces that you will be playing with. At the top of the screen, you will notice many different shapes that you begin with. This game is really simple: stack the shapes on the block at the bottom so that they remain balanced for a few seconds. The game gets more difficult as you go on, but it's fun and challenging. Perfect for class, work, or driving! Don't play and drive.


Here is the trailer:







Number 4: Moron Test

This game/app is addictive as you try and prove that you aren't...in fact, a moron. It's hard to explain without really giving anything away. Basically there is a timer and seemingly simple tasks to complete. However, many times you will overthinkg and mess up, thus having to begin anew. Do you remember taking those tests back in elementary school to see if you have read the directions, and if you don't you will do a lot of dumb things? That can't be just me, right? Well, in any case, that is the type of game this is. Check it out and make sure that all of your friends know that they are morons and you are not.

Here is the trailer:





Number 3: Zombieville

This game is a side-scrolling adventure game that's as easy to play as the first Mario Brothers. I completely love zombies and will try just about any game that features them. In this game, you assume the role of a survivor that must traverse each level without getting eaten for dinner...or lunch, or whatever meal schedule that zombies abide to. This game is constantly updated and never ceases to be fun. New characters, each with a set ability over the other characters, new weapons, vehicles, and other items have been added. As you travel each level, make sure you stop in houses and grab the money and ammo. After each level, you can purchase health and new ammo and weapons. Don't become zombie food!

Here is the trailer:




Number 2: CRUSH THE CASTLE

In this game, you control a catapult for your king. The purpose is to attack the rival royal families via destruction! As the game progresses you procure different ammo that has different destructive capabilities. I have been playing this game the most recently, pretty much anytime work gets slow or if I get stuck at a redlight. It's addictively fun.

Hint: You can go back and replay levels with the new ammo that you receive as you go on.

Here is a fanmade trailer:









...annnnd my number 1 favorite game/app. for my portable Apple device is: FRUIT NINJA! It's common knowledge that ninjas hate fruit. If you are ever feeling froggy and really want to piss off a ninja (I have NO idea why you would), simply throw a mango, an apple, or a kiwi at them. This game is addictively simple, to the point where upon picking it up, it's pretty easy to instantly know what to do. Your finger, in essence, is a ninja blade used for the purpose of defending your honor from malicious and misguided fruit. You slice and dice your way through a multitude of flying fruit, leaving a devastating path of delicious smoothy ingredients at your feet. Sounds pretty easy, huh? FALSE! The trick is that there are also flying bombs that simmer through the air. If you so even much as nick any part of them, well then your game is over and you must begin anew. You get three strikes, which count as fruit that you let slip passed you (no good ninja allows this). However, for every 100 pieces of fruit, a strike will go away. This is one of the very few games that I have actually purchased (for the staggering price of $0.99). Also making the game worth the price, Halfbrick Studios (makers of the game) continually update the game (for free) with new fruit and new gameplay options. The newest addition is Zen mode where, in the place of bombs, there is now a time limit. For this game mode, the prospective fruit ninja must slice his or her way through combos to accumulate the highest score over a set period of time.



Personal High Scores:

Classic Mode --> 646

Zen Mode --> 226



Still not convinced? Try this trailer on for size!





Honorable Mentions:

Craving more fun games/apps, well then check out these. I don't feel like doing a big write-up for all of them, but they are all fun and worthy of getting.

• Paper Toss - This game is cool and simple. Basically, you go through various locations, such as an airport, basement, cubicle, bathroom, etc., and have to throw a paper ball into a trashcan at varying lengths. Also, there is a fan that blows at different speeds. Pretty cool.


• Words With Friends / Chess With Friends - These games are a lot of fun too. They used to be higher on my list, but I got pretty burnt out on them. Do you like Scrabble? Do you like Chess? If yes, then you will like these. Added Bonus: you get to play against your friends.


• JaredAllen/Zombie Me - These are two cool apps b/c you can take pictures you have taken of your friends and turn them into either a redneck (complete with mullet) or a zombie. Cool.


• Dexter, The Game - Do you like Dexter? Then buy this game. It's the most expensive game I have purchased ($5), but well worth it. Could easily be a Playstation game. Great quality and gameplay, especially for a phone game.


• Emoji - This is cool for texting only. You get to send cartoon pictures to other people that have iPhones. It's fun.


• Spilldamilk - This game is pretty addictive and you have played it before. You throw a softball at metal milk jugs. Fun.

Well, that's my list! Let me know what you think in the comments section.

Cartoon Realism

Growing up, I loved watching cartoons. I use the term "growing up" loosely as I don't feel like a grown up, aside from paying taxes and having to go to work. I still love watching cartoons and The Simpsons is still one of my favorite shows. However, it becomes a surreal experience when you witness one of the voice actors doing the voice of the character in person. Continuing with this notion of realism, it is even more surreal when confronted with what the cartoon character would look outside of their pastel and neon colored world.

Bart Simpson

Bart is one of the most iconic cartoon characters of my generation. I still remember, in middle school, discovering that Bart was voiced by a woman...and it blew my mind. Nancy Cartwright has been the voice of Bart since the beginning of the show. As if he were one of her own children, Nancy has said, "Bart is a really good kid. He's just mischievous. He's not bad, like characters who followed him such as [Eric] Cartman or Beavis and Butthead. Bart can do some nasty things, but they seem so tame, by today's standards. What was shocking 19 years ago, when the show started, isn't the least bit shocking today. Bart hasn't changed." As do all of the other voice actors, Nancy is responsible for other characters, including Nelson Muntz, Ralph Wiggum, and Rod and Todd Flanders. Here is a video of Nancy doing several of her voices on the show:


Skip to around 2:30

Here is what Bart would look like in real life:

creepy...







(click to enlarge - worth it for these)





Homer Simpson

Continuing with The Simpsons theme, since they are my favorite cartoon, we come to Homer J. Simpson. During the first few seasons of the show, Bart was always my favorite. He was generally the protagonist for the episode, in terms of comedic conflict and resolution. However, as the series progressed and...I use this loosely, "matured," Homer began to emerge from Bart's shadow to become the main comedic element. He is voiced by Dan Castellaneta. He also does Krusty, Barney, Grandpa, among others. Here is a video of Dan doing voices:



And here is what Homer would look like if he were a real person:


(again...creepy, but click to see a bigger picture)



(added bonus - real life Mr. Burns!)




Peter & Stewie Griffin

Without The Simpsons many primetime cartoon shows would not exist. However, Family Guy is one of the few that has given credit to The Simpsons as an inspiration. While there are many similiarties between the shows, Family Guy is hilarious and continues the traditions that The Simpsons set forth originally. Seth McFarlane is responsible for doing many of the voices on the show, including Peter and Stewie Griffin. Here is a video of him doing many of the voices:



And here is what Peter and Stewie would look like if they were real:



(again, click to expand)




There are many other examples of these and I'm sure I will post another grouping or two. In the meantime, here is a movie poster of what a live action Simpsons movie would look like along with a real life Simpsons opening intro.

(If this doesn't expand on its own, go here --> http://www.gunaxin.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/Celebrity-Simpsons-ALL-Brad-Anderson-Creates-FINAL-Email.jpg)

Oh, Baltimore...

I have been living in Baltimore for almost a year now. I love this city (despite the asshole traffic enforcement). It has a ton of history, dozens of fantastic places to eat and drink, it's easy to get around, and it is generally a chill place to live for younger adults. Now, I know there are really awful places to live, but I don't go there and I'm perfectly happy to leave them on my DVD copy of The Wire. All in all, Baltimore is a cool place to live.

Baltimore is also one of the funniest places that I have ever spent a significant period of time in. I have seen and witnessed some of the most strangely awkward situations in my life here, to which you can only shake your head and laugh. There are definitely some weirdos living in Charm City.

Alcohol has a lot to do with many of the strange occurences here. For example, this picture was taken during a bar crawl that we witnessed on the way to...breakfast. Yes, the first meal of the day. If you click on the picture to enlarge it, you will witness a woman completely passed out on the steps of someone's house. My buddy, Jad, snuck up very close to capture this beast in her natural habitat (i.e. passed the eff out on a stoop before 10:30). This bar crawl would later lead to a multitude of fights (including a stabbing), general debauchery, and many other people passed out. This lovely lady just decided to take the plunge early and won the award for First Passed Out Chick of the day. Further, it should be noted that she has absolutely no clue that anyone was talking about her, let alone that someone was brave enough to sneak up to her to clearly take a picture. Keep it classy.

Speaking of passed out, I came across this on a walk...not home, but going out. Pretty sure it was after a Raven's game. However, this was such a find. The guys were clearly spent after a long evening of partying. Yet, they found the strength to order a pizza (Domino's is across the street) and proceed to devour it. However, all of this effort clearly made them sleepy as they laid back for a quick snooze. It should be noted that they both still had yet-to-be finished pieces of pizza in each of their hands. The scene was eerily reminiscient of a Romeo and Juliet suicide pact, except instead of poison and daggers it was alcohol and pizza.

In terms of passing out, it is a great feeling to capture the subject completely passed out. Yet, it is another story all together to capture each stage of the subject traveling the dark and lonely path to passedoutdom. The best and most readily available subject: The Baltimore Bum.

In the first picture, we find the bum in one of his natural habitats: the bar. Having chugged as many Natty Boh's for as much change as he had rounded up, it is possible to see his eyelids getting heavy. It is here that we will find the bum singing the wrong words to songs (or just blatantly shouting), attempting to hit on women, possibly urinating on himself, and many other fun activities. In the second picture, we find the bum has moved outdoors. Slumber has her claws in him now, as he attempts to dance his way out of it. However, the dance moves aren't working as we find in picture three. Nap time! But what other way is there to pass out on a bus stop bench than with another beer? If this is wrong, then the Baltimore Bum doesn't want to be right.

Not everyone that lives in Baltimore is confined to foot traffic. In fact, many people drive motor vehicles. The varying degree of vehicle is what makes Baltimore unique.

This lovely truck was parked outside of my house one fateful day, no doubt lowering the value of my neighborhood. The truck is apparently owned by Misses (sic) Ellen Sunday and her fantastic cats. Your eyes are not deceiving you; yes, those are cats with laser beams shooting out of their eyes, thus making them fantastic. The rest of the truck was covered in various stickers that usually can be found on the refrigerator of a family with a small child. I can only speculate to the type of person that would drive this truck. However, I must give credit to any woman that cares after the lonely laser beam-eyed cats of the world. Lord knows that someone has to...

This next vehicle is one of my favorites. It is a large white van littered with various keepsakes and motivational phrases. The highlight can be found above the grill: "GOD. MADE. CHiLdREN WiNNER'S." So...many...questions...

First, God made children winners of what? What exactly are these children winning? All children are not winners, as made clear by the above car, the above bums, the above people passed out on the street, and whatever person drives this vehicle. Second, could someone not help the driver out with some more capital letters? If God made children winners of, I presume, everything, couldn't He take a minute to capitalize the poor driver's "i's" and "d" to really drive home the point? The fire blue flame atop the windshield shows that the driver really means business, which is only further accentuated by the chrome spoiler, exhaust, and side vents. For God's. Sake. Let's save some money. On. The. Chrome. And splurge for some. Capital Letter's.

Finally, I was lucky enough to snag this picture on my way to work one morning. Seriously, dude...a segway? While the segway is the leader in personal, green transportation, transforming the way you work, play and live, could there be a more douchey way to travel? Like, you just look like a loser. I am sure they are cool to drive and are fun, but do you really need to get one for the purpose of your morning commute? I laugh at the cops that ride around on these things. This guy is the only non-cop that I have witnessed driving around (is it even called driving?) on one of these. How would you pick up a girl with one of these? Is he married? Does his wife think this is cool? Further, how does she allow him to leave the house? Does he ever go pick up the kids from school with it?

All of these questions flood my mind as I drive past this guy everyday. Yes, I pass this guy daily. I can only imagine how hard I would want to punch him in the face if I worked with him and he ever bitched about the morning commute. "Really, dude...you had a rough commute? You ride to work on half of a robot. You look like a super hero. I was sitting in traffic for an hour on 695 in my shitty Toyota thinking about the latest Dora the Explorer episode that I watched this morning with my kids. I truly hate you."

My part of Baltimore can also be a dangerous place...for drunks. This tends to happen every weekend:

2 lessons: Don't mess with Baltimore cops (again, check The Wire) and Don't wear a Yankess hat. You already look like a front-running tool, plus you will get beat up.

All in all, Baltimore is awesome. As I encounter more crazy situations, I'll continue to post them. Come visit, you'll have a good time.